Commencement speech by USSC president
I would like to share a few words about peer pressure. You learned all about it in Middle School; you heard the lectures from your moms and dads and health teachers. Kids your age are going to try to make you do things. Don’t. Give. In.
Children of recent immigrants usually do not retain their parents’ accents. The children of deaf parents grow up to speak just as well as children with hearing parents. Despite the warnings of adults and all the attempts made to raise both awareness and cigarette prices, the teen smoking epidemic continues to thrive.
How do we become who we are? Studies have shown that our personality traits are half genetic, half environmental. Adults, by all means, influence our lives. But often, parents and guardians are not the most influential people in our lives. Instead, as Judith Harris argues in her controversial book, The Nurture Assumption, that huge influence on who we become and who we are is our peers. They influence us in more ways than we think.
If the influence one peer has on another is so powerful, then imagine what could be done with positive forces. I can say for a fact that not one of my classmates has ever offered me a cigarette. They have offered me something far better. As I reflect on my Ellis experience, and as I look at my classmates, my friends, I find that I owe so much of who I am to them. In our class, we’ve had an excess of positive peer pressure. Instead of coercing each other into engaging in illicit activities, I believe we have gently pushed one another to grow.
We came from different neighborhoods and backgrounds with different ideas and personalities, but ended up together. Some of us met in a kindergarten classroom, others joined along the way. When you put 44 curious, unique, creative, and intelligent girls together, they are bound to influence one another. There may be some competition involved, but it’s often for the better. Studies show that girls are more sensitive to positive peer pressure. If you surround a girl with diligent classmates, her performance will improve. Collectively, we set the bar for each other, and ourselves. With 43 other girls and an even bigger community of friends, family, and teachers behind each of us, we made it up here today.
You could see just how cool they were from the beginning. In the Lower School, a group of them made up a game called REVOLUTIONARY WAR on the playground. Who does that? The ones who weren’t playing Revolutionary War were building fairy houses or forming a band. I, however, was with Madison Kalson playing a game we made up called “Look Out Below.” One person stood on top of the playground equipment, the other stood underneath. The person on top threw a kickball down to the other person and yelled, “look out below!” Occasionally, she would bite me. Okay, that only happened once. But because of you, we have grown.
In all seriousness: I see the effect of all of you in myself all the time. When I watch somebody get way too excited to read Hilary Clinton’s biography or when I hear about someone’s passion for their research project, it makes me want to read more, learn more, and embrace curiosity. My classmates are activists, actresses, artists, athletes, comedians, directors, entrepreneurs, innovators, and scholars. They are ambitious, caring, creative, determined, full of energy, kind, smart, and understanding. They are so much more. My classmates are changing the world every day, and they inspire me to do the same. Because of you, I have aimed higher.
We learn from the positive experiences, and we also learn from the arguments, the mistakes, and the fateful emails calling us to a class meeting. We react (sometimes too) passionately to just about everything – from a speaker whose message we disagree with (understatement) to a day without access to the cafeteria – and we are never afraid to speak up or out. In the real world, our beliefs will be questioned, and unless we have questioned them ourselves, we may not be able to answer. When we challenged one another’s beliefs, we also helped to strengthen them.
This is all good. This means that wherever we go, we will carry parts of each other. We will remember somebody’s integrity, or recall somebody’s bravery, or channel somebody’s sense of humor. And we’ll incorporate all these little parts into ourselves, so that when we’re in new places talking with new friends and teachers, we may not even notice the pieces of the Ellis class of 2013 shining through. I am so proud to know that parts of you are embedded into who I have become.
We have been and forever will be a part of something special. We share memories and jokes that will only really resonate within our own special circle. I could tell you each and every girl’s history, middle name, birthday, allergies and food preferences, and the make and color of her vehicle. Only at Ellis can you get that. We share a special bond with our incredible teachers as well—they invite us to their homes, feed us, initiate water-crystal fights, and become a part of our family. We wouldn’t be here without those teachers and mentors, and we certainly would not be the same people that we are. They inspire, advise, and spark curiosity. They are really funny, and by the end of the year, they become our friends, allowing them to be elevated to that very influential peer status. They make this place whole.
High school was hard, but I have this strange feeling that life just isn’t easy. One day we’ll look back and realize that we were given the tools to succeed, to make the next hard thing a little bit easier, and we’ll know that it was worth it. Even more worth it were the relationships we’ve built with the wonderful girls and the Ellis community as a whole. You were my Ellis experience. Sure, because of you, I have aimed higher. But more importantly, I have been happier. If these years have been a road trip, you have been the soundtrack and the scenery, even when the weather wasn’t great, or the road was bumpy, or when we were lost. You have made the trip something to smile about. I couldn’t have picked a better group to grow up with.
Back
How do we become who we are? Studies have shown that our personality traits are half genetic, half environmental. Adults, by all means, influence our lives. But often, parents and guardians are not the most influential people in our lives. Instead, as Judith Harris argues in her controversial book, The Nurture Assumption, that huge influence on who we become and who we are is our peers. They influence us in more ways than we think.
If the influence one peer has on another is so powerful, then imagine what could be done with positive forces. I can say for a fact that not one of my classmates has ever offered me a cigarette. They have offered me something far better. As I reflect on my Ellis experience, and as I look at my classmates, my friends, I find that I owe so much of who I am to them. In our class, we’ve had an excess of positive peer pressure. Instead of coercing each other into engaging in illicit activities, I believe we have gently pushed one another to grow.
We came from different neighborhoods and backgrounds with different ideas and personalities, but ended up together. Some of us met in a kindergarten classroom, others joined along the way. When you put 44 curious, unique, creative, and intelligent girls together, they are bound to influence one another. There may be some competition involved, but it’s often for the better. Studies show that girls are more sensitive to positive peer pressure. If you surround a girl with diligent classmates, her performance will improve. Collectively, we set the bar for each other, and ourselves. With 43 other girls and an even bigger community of friends, family, and teachers behind each of us, we made it up here today.
You could see just how cool they were from the beginning. In the Lower School, a group of them made up a game called REVOLUTIONARY WAR on the playground. Who does that? The ones who weren’t playing Revolutionary War were building fairy houses or forming a band. I, however, was with Madison Kalson playing a game we made up called “Look Out Below.” One person stood on top of the playground equipment, the other stood underneath. The person on top threw a kickball down to the other person and yelled, “look out below!” Occasionally, she would bite me. Okay, that only happened once. But because of you, we have grown.
In all seriousness: I see the effect of all of you in myself all the time. When I watch somebody get way too excited to read Hilary Clinton’s biography or when I hear about someone’s passion for their research project, it makes me want to read more, learn more, and embrace curiosity. My classmates are activists, actresses, artists, athletes, comedians, directors, entrepreneurs, innovators, and scholars. They are ambitious, caring, creative, determined, full of energy, kind, smart, and understanding. They are so much more. My classmates are changing the world every day, and they inspire me to do the same. Because of you, I have aimed higher.
We learn from the positive experiences, and we also learn from the arguments, the mistakes, and the fateful emails calling us to a class meeting. We react (sometimes too) passionately to just about everything – from a speaker whose message we disagree with (understatement) to a day without access to the cafeteria – and we are never afraid to speak up or out. In the real world, our beliefs will be questioned, and unless we have questioned them ourselves, we may not be able to answer. When we challenged one another’s beliefs, we also helped to strengthen them.
This is all good. This means that wherever we go, we will carry parts of each other. We will remember somebody’s integrity, or recall somebody’s bravery, or channel somebody’s sense of humor. And we’ll incorporate all these little parts into ourselves, so that when we’re in new places talking with new friends and teachers, we may not even notice the pieces of the Ellis class of 2013 shining through. I am so proud to know that parts of you are embedded into who I have become.
We have been and forever will be a part of something special. We share memories and jokes that will only really resonate within our own special circle. I could tell you each and every girl’s history, middle name, birthday, allergies and food preferences, and the make and color of her vehicle. Only at Ellis can you get that. We share a special bond with our incredible teachers as well—they invite us to their homes, feed us, initiate water-crystal fights, and become a part of our family. We wouldn’t be here without those teachers and mentors, and we certainly would not be the same people that we are. They inspire, advise, and spark curiosity. They are really funny, and by the end of the year, they become our friends, allowing them to be elevated to that very influential peer status. They make this place whole.
High school was hard, but I have this strange feeling that life just isn’t easy. One day we’ll look back and realize that we were given the tools to succeed, to make the next hard thing a little bit easier, and we’ll know that it was worth it. Even more worth it were the relationships we’ve built with the wonderful girls and the Ellis community as a whole. You were my Ellis experience. Sure, because of you, I have aimed higher. But more importantly, I have been happier. If these years have been a road trip, you have been the soundtrack and the scenery, even when the weather wasn’t great, or the road was bumpy, or when we were lost. You have made the trip something to smile about. I couldn’t have picked a better group to grow up with.
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